It’s More Bitter for Me Than for You

A Reflection for Thursday, December 11 by Riane Hallsten

Lectionary reading for 12/11/2025: Psalm 146:5–10; Ruth 1:6–18; 2 Peter 3:1–10Selected passage for reflection: Ruth 1:6–18 

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Ruth 1:6–18 ESV6 Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the Lord had visited his people and given them food. 7 So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. 8 But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother's house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. 10 And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, 13 would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

15 And she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” 16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” 18 And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

Naomi entreating Ruth and Orpah to return to the land of Moab by William Blake 1795

Reflect

Recently, my husband was laid off from his job. A couple of months before he was let go, his employer announced it was potentially going bankrupt due to a financial scandal. The layoff was practically written in the stars. 

No matter where you live, being laid off is a tough change. Currently, my husband and I live in the UK, where every change is met with additional layers of difficulty. If you understand unemployment in the US, try understanding unemployment in the UK—I say jokingly, because there is no unemployment for visa holders.

Recently, I was chatting with a few friends who are well-employed in the US. They receive livable paychecks, pay their bills, travel, and also face struggles. However, we were discussing financial hardship, and I was astounded by the things they were complaining about. I thought, “Can you go to the grocery store? Do you worry about uprooting your life and moving in with your parents?” The struggles that my husband and I were facing seemed insurmountable. Yet when I listened to my friends discuss their financial hardships, I thought bitterly, “You have no idea what financial hardship is like.”

Whether my husband and I had the harder situation isn’t the point. In that moment, my perspective shaped my response. I didn’t care if my friends had financial hardships because they were “nothing” compared to my own. Maybe you’ve had a moment like that—a moment where your own circumstances controlled your perspective.

The story of Naomi and Ruth is compelling. After uprooting her entire life, Naomi, her husband, and her two sons move from Bethlehem to Moab. Upon arriving in Moab, they settle into a new life—Elimelech finds wives for his sons, and they marry. Just when it seems that a new life is emerging, Elimelech and Naomi’s two sons die. At the beginning of Ruth 1:6, we find Naomi and her two daughters-in-law alone. When Naomi decides to return to Bethlehem, her daughters-in-law beg to go with her. Even after Naomi’s first rejection, the daughters press even harder, “No, we will return with you to your people!” (v. 11). The daughters-in-law make a bold claim. Not only are they willing to travel with Naomi, but they are willing to forsake their families, their religion, and their land to return with Naomi—an incredibly sacrificial gesture.

However, Naomi is not phased. Finally, she convincingly explains, “I am too old to have a husband… even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown?... No, my daughters, it is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” (NIV). Naomi’s perspective is shaped by her grief and her belief that she would be condemning her daughters-in-law to an even greater tragedy—living indefinitely as widows, without family or protection.

Perhaps you know how the story ends? Ruth, despite all odds, follows her mother-in-law, and they return to Bethlehem. Naomi’s bitterness continues to dominate her perspective. She calls herself Mara (meaning bitter), inste\ad of Naomi, to accentuate her bitterness. Naomi’s perspective does not change until halfway through the story, when she believes that Ruth will find a family kin to marry.

Oh boy, doesn’t that seem true? Our perspectives start to change when our circumstances shift. The past few months of unemployment in our family have been met with confusion, anger, and silent prayers towards God (you know, the prayer where words feel meaningless?). Suddenly, when things start to turn around—a good job interview, a potential employer, an offer, etc.—we feel God’s provision again. This is perhaps the tangible part of Naomi’s story—sometimes our circumstances govern our faith. This isn’t to say that Naomi—or I—am right; we are human. However, Naomi’s honest story reflects an actual human reality. In the moments when all hope seems lost, and it feels as though God’s hand is against us, perhaps a shift in perspective could help us glimpse His greater plan.  

Respond 

Reflecting on Naomi’s circumstances, can you think of a time (perhaps now or a previous time) when circumstances felt/feel out of your control? Write that moment down in the center of a piece of paper. Draw a circle around the moment/circumstance. Then, surrounding that moment, brainstorm counter-narratives where God has been at work. These “counter-narratives” are moments when you have seen God emerge during that season. For my husband and me, we wrote down provisions (fiscal, emotional, and spiritual) that we saw God give us. Sometimes those provisions were through other people, random (or seemingly random) circumstances, or ways we personally managed our circumstances.

Rest 

God, sometimes my circumstances feel out of my control. No matter how hard I try to think myself out of my reality, this circumstance does not change. Whether you are going to change this circumstance or not, help me see your perspective. Help me to find your still voice amidst the chaos. Help me to rest in the abounding provisions you have given me. No matter what lies ahead, Lord help me rest in the arms of a mighty God who knows my anxious heart.  

About the Author 

Hi everyone—my name is Riane. I live in Scotland, UK, where I am wrapping up my PhD in the Old Testament at the University of St Andrews. I am passionate about teaching the Old Testament in church contexts and bringing these scriptures to life. My current research is in biblical law (yup, the boring stuff in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy!), and I absolutely love it! Thank you for spending a few moments reading this reflection.