You will later understand!
- Rev. Dr. Cynthia P. Stewart
- Apr 2
- 6 min read
A Reflection for Maundy Thursday by Rev. Dr. Cynthia P. Stewart
Lectionary Readings: Exodus 12:1-4, (5-10), 11-14; Psalm 116:1-2, 12-19; 1 Corinthians 11:23-26; John 13:1-17, 31b-35
Selected passage for today’s reflection: Psalm 116 and John 13:1-17
Read
Psalm 116
1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me!”
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.
10 I trusted in the Lord when I said,
“I am greatly afflicted”;
11 in my alarm I said,
“Everyone is a liar.”
12 What shall I return to the Lord
for all his goodness to me?
13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the Lord.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
in the presence of all his people.
15 Precious in the sight of the Lord
is the death of his faithful servants.
16 Truly I am your servant, Lord;
I serve you just as my mother did;
you have freed me from my chains.
17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the Lord.
18 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
in the presence of all his people,
19 in the courts of the house of the Lord—
in your midst, Jerusalem.
Praise the Lord.
John 13:1-17
13 It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
2 The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
7 Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
8 “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
10 Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Reflection
We are in what is called the Holy Triduum (Three Days) as Lent ends, while many have fasted, prayed, meditated, and come into a closer relationship with God. We are in the final stretch. Today is called Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday, depending on your tradition. Growing up and into my adulthood, Holy Thursday was always one of my favorite days during Holy Week. I was always fascinated by John 13 coming to life as I witnessed my Pastor walk around with a towel on his arm and a basin of water, washing the feet of those he had chosen to represent the disciples. It reminded me that no matter what is going on in a person's life, we are called to be ministers of the towel. Well, in April 2000, my view of Maundy Thursday took a different turn.
I had a doctor’s appointment the day before, which only took an hour, made it back home, and I felt fine. About three hours later, that changed. I immediately began to bleed and feel unbearable cramps. I was home alone and had to call my then-husband to let him know what was going on. By the time he had gotten home, the pain had increased, so he called my doctor and was informed to wait until the next morning. Enduring the pain throughout the night, I went to the doctor's office early that morning (Holy Thursday) and was informed the baby did not have a heartbeat. The doctor informed me, “Let God continue to do what He has started.” She knew I had a strong faith in God, but at that moment, I wondered why I was suffering through this. I was released to go home with some medication. But God was not finished. About five hours later, still in pain and bleeding, I went to the bathroom and delivered my baby. I was 4 months pregnant. I called the doctor again and told her what had happened, but by then the clinic was closed, so I was told to come back the next morning. Three days (triduum) of pain and anguish during Holy Week.
Now, 26 years later, I understand. It is John 13:7, where Jesus tells Simon Peter before washing his feet, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Psalm 116 has always been a scripture that brought me comfort. I know that when I cry out to God, He hears my voice and turns His ear towards me. After losing my son Samson, I felt verses 3-4, when suicidal thoughts came to my mind, and questions still felt unanswered. But verses 5-19 gave me hope. God saved my life and delivered me from death. Through the pain I endured, God has opened the door for me to minister to other women.
So, what is your cry to God?
Respond
Read through Psalm 116 again, then with your journal/laptop/tablet, write your own version of Psalm 116. Let God take over the pen or keyboard as you write from your heart. Now, read John 13 and consider Jesus' life and what he sacrificed as Lent ends. What will the next three days -- Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Resurrection Sunday bring for you?
Rest
God, I lift every woman who has lost a child, whether it was a miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or a child they raised and then lost. God, as you hear their cry, bring them comfort and peace as they remember. Even for those reflecting today who may not have lost a child, but are dealing with something else during this Lenten season, may you touch their hearts, bring wisdom, protection, and guidance. May we end this Lenten season feeling closer to you and knowing you are omnipresent. In Jesus Name, Amen
About the Author
Rev. Dr. Cyntia P. Stewart is a minister at New Life Covenant Church Southeast in Chicago, IL. She has been leading a women's 5 am prayer call each Wednesday since 2018. She works at Illinois Institute of Technology and is adjunct faculty at Loyola University Chicago. She has a passion for seeing the healing power of God manifest in people’s lives.
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