There was a time in my life when I despaired. A loved one was in serious trouble. Each day felt uncertain, each hour changeable. Tears were the most consistent thing of the day. Tears were like my food, day and night. I was like that deer, aching for the presence of God. I was almost out of breath with longing to know that God was near and that I was not alone; a primal longing for the God of the universe to be close to me in my grief. I knew God was with me and with us. But